The New Year Prank
by frogandrabbitsox
Summary: Some ex-colonies decided to play a prank on their dear friend England/Arthur for the New Years. It was the best prank ever, the four pranksters agreed. Until... One-shot, no pairings. Forgive me if the time zones aren't quite right. T for Arthur's swearing. Happy New Year!


Arthur was really not in a mood for anything today. Not another conversation – which was really just a reprimand – from his boss, not another how-do-you-do from a fellow passerby, and definitely not another annoying nation yelling at his ass. Nothing from yesterday, as today was a break day. No, nothing. Nada.

Well, except for a jolly good cup of tea.

He settled down onto his comfy armchair, teacup handle poised gracefully in his hand. The bookshelf, rarely touched, was going to finally be a source of entertainment for the busy nation. Arthur touched the weathered spines and finally selected a book. _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes_ fell open with a dainty plop on his lap.

The noises of the city were far, far away from him as he gazed down from his flat window. Snow dusted the tops of matchbox buildings. Cars blocked every street, filling the city with glows of artificial red in the dim but spread-out light of the sun. The people were overcrowding the little coffee shops, shopping malls, and tourist buildings, desperate to escape London and go home, even after Christmas.

The snow started to trickle from the gray clouds above. Arthur's breath fogged up the glass with the slightest touch. The honking escalated. Annoyed by the already disrupted silence, the nation threw the curtains together and directed his attention back at his tea.

The third season of the famous television show Sherlock was to be released soon, he mused, And here I am, reading the book is was based on. He let out a slightly amused chuckle as he enveloped himself into the story, with a steaming mug of Earl Grey in his hand.

Gradually, Arthur lost his stress and his worries as the words comforted him. It had been so long since he had looked at a book. The harsh words of documents and treaties had burned his eyes and averted him from the soft phrasings of a book for many days. The Earl Grey made him feel warmer and took him away from the harsh cold of present-day London. He could practically see Sherlock running with John, playing the violin, and speaking words they didn't know a reader could know about.

The tea was gone. He had also gone through several adventures. Arthur, at peace, stretched himself out and prepared to go outside. He let himself smile for a while as he shuffled toward the stairs.

His peace was immediately broken by the sound of ringing. Arthur groaned as he snatched the phone from the receiver. "Hello?"

"Aye, mate! How'ya doin?"

Arthur replied tersely, "Hello Australia. What reason are you here for?"

"Nothing at all. I just wanna greet my old man! And to wish you a happy New Year!" Australia's sounded very excited, but there was something else in his voice that Arthur couldn't place.

"Oh, well that was quite stupid. I have things to do! Don't interrupt my-"

"Is this Mr. Arthur?" Another voice, quieter and familiar, entered the conversation.

"Yes, and who is this?" Arthur was too irritated to recognize the voice.

"You always forget me, Mr. Arthur. I am New Zealand."

"Oh. I suppose you are also here to disrupt my peace?" He was already too irritated to apologize.

"Yes, Mr. Arthur." The voice was sweet and dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't you start on me! And it's not even midnight yet! Why are you wishing me a bloody happy New Year now?"

Australia and New Zealand sighed, "Uh, Arthur, it's midnight at our place. Duh. We live in a bloody different area!"

Arthur took a deep breath, sat back down in his armchair and sank into the furniture, his day already ruined. "Very well, happy New-"

As if things couldn't become worse, another loud and obnoxious voice entered the damned conversation. "IGGY! DUDE, I TOTALLY MISSED YOU! IT'S BEEN, LIKE, FIFTEEN MONTHS!"

Arthur screamed silently as a new headache developed. "Oh, bloody hell."

"Is Aussie and New Zealand here as well? Whee! It's a freedom-from-Iggy-the-grouch party!"

"Hey!" Australia greeted as New Zealand echoed it.

"Dudes, where's Iggy?" Alfred sounded as if he just won a lottery.

"Right here, you dumb bastard! Don't remind me of your stupid revolution!" Arthur let out a string of cuss words.

"Love your language, Iggs. Well, it's New Year here too!" Alfred laughed maniacally, at least, that's what Arthur heard.

"The hell? I am SO not wishing you a happy fucking New Year!"

"Yes you shall, right Iggy? You know I'm your favorite wittle ex-colony wiff the super awesome hero! I totally saved your ass before too. Hey, you remember Wo-"

"Hey, do you remember HOW TO SHUT UP? NOW GET LOST BEFORE I THRASH A RIDING CROP ONTO YOUR SORRY ASS!"

"Oooooh, Artie, sounds like you gotta little something for him, huh? I gotta little getaway right here-"

"I DO NOT, YOU BLOODY ASSHOLE. I AM GOING TO SHOVE MY SCONE RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT IF YOU DO NOT START SPEAKING LIKE A SENSIBLE LITTLE ARSE. MAYBE I'LL SEND DOWN SOME SATANIC FORCE WITH YOU, HUH? I'VE GOT A WAND RIGHT HERE-"

"Yeah yeah, Iggy. We get it. Come on, let's sing Iggy a Christmas song, huh? Let's get him into the Christmas spirit!"

"Christmas has already GONE YOU-" Arthur was too late, for the three nations started singing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" in a terrible off-the-hook voice.

"Rudolph the red nose reindeer, had a fucking big-ass shiny nose-" The three had purposely modified the lyrics. Arthur was ripping his newspapers up and his hair was a mess.

"THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TASTE OF MY SCONES-"

"Aha! So you admit that your scones taste bad!" A quiet but triumphant voice seamlessly entered the riot.

"Hey, Matt's here! Dude, this is so fun!" America was laughing hysterically.

"That's it, I'm hanging up! Trying to win this bloody argument and putting you children into a shamed silence is impossible. Have a fucking happy New Year, you arses!" Arthur could barely think straight as he dropped the phone to the ground.

"Have a wonderful New Year!" All four nations chorused triumphantly. The line went silent.

"Hey, do you think he's gone?" New Zealand whispered timidly after half a minute.

"His phone is still connected, but he hasn't made a sound..." Matthew answered.

"Lemme check. HEY IGGY, I STILL HAVE THAT PICTURE OF YOU WEARING THAT SEXY WAITER COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN!" All the nations chuckled.

Arthur's line was silent.

"I guess he really did leave." Australia concluded cheerfully.

"Guys, that was the best thing ever." New Zealand chirped.

"Agreed. We totally pissed Iggy off! I bet he's still fuming about not being able to overpower his ex-colonies, even though we used to be his." Alfred added the last part a bit wistfully.

"True...Hey, we're still meeting up at Central Square after, right? Because, I'm already there. I have all the maple syrup for the toast to the New Year." Matthew added.

"Yep. I'm there. Oh, I see you! Alfred added as well.

"Australia and I are a block away. Wait, we see both of you now!" New Zealand stated.

"I can't believe Arthur actually believed that it was actually the New Year for all of us. Alfred and Matthew, your New Year is long after his. He must be really annoyed." Australia chuckled.

"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BLOODY ASSHOLES!" A triumphant and evil voice emerged from a long period of silence.

Everyone gasped. "IGGY, WE-WE THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!" Alfred managed to stutter.

"GUESS WHAT, ALFRED? I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE! OH, I CAN EVEN SEE YOU FROM UP HERE!"

"A-a-a-arthur? Ummm, w-w-w-w-WHAT IS THAT?!" Matthew's voice was wavering.

In front of all four nations was a large raised surface, like a building, that sprouted from the middle of the park. It was bathed in a glowing, hellish light and sprouted fire. Trees within it withered and died, as well as the grasses and flowers so carefully planted there. The ground became cracked as rocks rose and fell from the earth. The air turned as cold as ice. The four nations stumbled backward as the column rose. On top of it, cloaked in darkness, was none other than Arthur. The pentacle surrounding him was a shade of red, burning with evil.

"How do you like this, you fools?" Arthur's voice was soft but menacing, as if the appearance was anything but like what was underneath. "You have angered me, and now you shall face inevitable consequences." The noises from each nation's receivers crackled with a foreign sound.

Alfred couldn't do anything but gaze in horror. New Zealand squealed and ducked behind Australia, who started running. Canada started muttering intently, for his eyes could not do anything but stare at what lay before them. Stare at the monster that was created.

It was Arthur's turn to laugh. He raised his hands and yelled to the fleeing nations. "HAPPY NEW YEAR, YOU ARSES!" The hellish light enveloped the scene, bright enough to burn one's soul.

They disappeared.

* * *

AN/ Happy New Year! This is a fanfic just dedicated for that day! It's been a terribly long time since I have updated anything at all. Yep.

I hope you enjoyed. I do request fanfiction because. Thanks for reading!


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